I suppose I should not be so amazed, for evil’s inception well predates every thing I’ve known. The Preacher and man of wisdom, Solomon, said, “what was is, and what is will be again” (Ecc 1:9), therefore I know that there is nothing new under the sun. Nevertheless, it still amazes me that I live in a world where selfishness and sin reigns. As a result of sin we have rape, murder, wars, sex slavery, child molesters, thieves, liars, and all expressions of evil. I myself was born in it, and shaped by my own iniquity. I was molded in evil, and enthralled to partake therein. I was, like everyone else, a child of the devil and heading for wrath. “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Cor 15:57), for calling me through the gospel, so that I may obtain the glory of the Lord Jesus (2 Thess 2:14), and be saved to the praise and glory of His grace (Eph 1:6). Now things are different. Now I no longer find joy in sin, but groan inwardly both at my own sin, and that of the world. It is these groanings which inspire me to pray for holiness or death, and which, incidentally, inspired this short journal entry (for I just watched a video about homelessness and was compelled to write). I am once again remained that I am not here to live for self, but for God. This is the glorious call of self denial. I am learning that whatever comes – whether sickness or poverty or trial and tribulation – the call is self-denial and holiness. If I say, with those of scripture, that my life is not my own, and that I was bought with a price, then I must not complain when things do not go my way, but remain steadfast in the call to conform to Christ’ character. Then, if I live, let me live to Christ. That is to say, let me lay aside sin and selfishness, and seek to bring about some change in my sphere of influence; both for the glory of God, and the good of men. I shall pray for this or plead for death, because I cannot imagine living another way. To live any other way would be, for me, a waste of life and hellish.